Raising Real Men, a Timberdoodle Review

Timberdoodle sent me a copy of Raising Real Men, Surviving, Teaching and Appreciating Boys, by Hal and Melanie Young. As a member of Timberdoodle's Blogger Review Team I received a free copy of Raising Real Men in exchange for a frank and unbiased review.

Raising Real Men was on my longish list of "to buy" books and I was pleased to have been chosen to review it. My book list is longer than my book budget is funded, unfortunately.

The book arrived at a good time for me, personally, as I parent my son through the ups and downs of adolescence and the challenges of settling in, making friends, and dealing with all of the changes (many of them negative) of a cross-country move. I need encouragement right now.

Of course I read the chapters out of order. (I usually read magazines from the back to the front, too.)

Hal and Melanie Young write from a Christian perspective. Sometimes Christians can be, well, preachy, and I feel worse after hearing them or reading their books. I was hoping this would not be a preachy book. I feel guilty enough about parenting mistakes without a preachy book reminding me where I mess up. AND they homeschool all of their kids (I homeschool one of mine). Would they look down on folks who don't homeschool?

And I got the book I wanted, needed. Hal and Melanie Young guide me through how to think about parenting this boy of mine, how to guide him, and they give me practical ideas on how to go about smoothing bumps and handling challenges. Yes, the book is helpful to homeschoolers and non-homechoolers alike.

I'll give you an example. The Youngs describe the challenge son John had with completing schoolwork. (The Youngs are homeschoolers. My son is in a school-building school.) My son is struggling with completing homework and preparing for projects and quizzes. This section jumped out at me as I read chapters out of order: "Melanie realized...that boys really need a goal, some purpose for the day. She learned that giving them a list can help them see what has to be done and allow them to take charge of doing it. It also gives them hope that there really is an end to the school day, if they don't prolong it themselves." p 152

A list? That's ironic. That's what we do for kids w/ special needs, too. Why didn't I think of that? He has a school planner. With some insight and encouragement from the Youngs, I get an opportunity to guide him to use his planner in ways that are effective for him, to include homework and instrument practice.

Here's another example: Page 182 addresses an issue we have dealt with in a huge way since our move, and not just with the kids. I was raised in the South; my kids were not. I did not program my children to generously pepper conversations with adults with "yes m'am" and "yes sir" like kids do here. Since we returned to the South in April, I, quite frankly, find all the "yes m'am"-ing and "yes, sir"-ing from children to be annoying, silly, and insincere. (I cannot believe how much I have changed in the 20+ years away from the South. I surprise myself.) The kids sound like robots to me and all of the m'amming and sirring get in the way of a conversation. HOWEVER, I have kept my mouth shut about my feelings and have encouraged my children to "yes m'am" and "yes sir" alongside their peers. It is expected here in this culture. (I think they'd have been ridiculed in the Midwest.) Hal and Melanie tell me, "Teach your sons to study carefully what the prevailing standard appears to be, and to adjust their address to keep in step with the best expectations of the present culture."

BIG PICTURE: The examples I shared (above) are little picture. We need work on big picture, and I welcome insight on how to do this as we settle into our new home and community. (When does the new normal set in, anyway?) With my son feeling so down about our move and all of the changes involved in the move, his attitude often reflects how he is feeling inside. His self-esteem is low as starts from scratch making friends in our new town. Joining established groups of friends is not easy at the middle school level. I needed to be reminded the insight and how-to suggestions about how to make the main thing the main thing and how to reach his heart, and not by preaching. And Raising Real Men delivers.
I wish I'd had this book several years ago. From allowances and money management to team sports and competition to boasting to chores and "doing real things" to manners to sex to dealing with adventure - the Youngs address these issues and more, issues that we parents of boys meet day in and day out and give us insight on how to guide in a loving, gentle, practical way. Raising Real Men is very relationship focused as the Youngs guide parents from their own experience. It is a must read for parents of boys.

Raising Real Men is list priced at $15; Timberdoodle offers it for $12.75.

Timberdoodle is on facebook here. Be sure to contact Timberdoodle for a free catalog here.

Raising Real Men has a web site and facebook page.

From Timberdoodle: Critical Thinking Co's Visual Perceptual Skill Building

Timberdoodle carries a variety of toys, games, and educational materials. Timberdoodle offered some options for reviewers and I chose a skill building book from Critical Thinking Press that focuses on an area where Li'l Bit needs practice: visual perception. I am familiar with Critical Thinking Press; I've purchased several products from them.

Note: The cover pictured here differs from the cover of the book I received.

After I chose the visual perception book, we went to see our "autism" consultant, who, without my input, screened Li'l Bit for some visual tracking issues. The consultant and I had the same instinct - we need to devote some time to this area.

I really like this book. I am certified in Basic Level 1 of Feuerstein Instrumental Enrichment, and, while Visual Perceptual Skill Building is not FIE, there are similarities, and I can use my training along with this book. For $24.99, a parent can have a worktext that he/she can use at home with a child (without signing up for an expensive, out-of-pocket expense class, travel time etc). The activities are child-friendly; the pages are laid out well and are not over-crowded (in my opinion), which reduces performance and completion anxiety.

The recommended age range is 7-9; I would add that parents of older children who are developmental delayed may benefit from the activities in this book.

Visual Perceptual Skill Building Book 2

covers

Visual Motor Integration

Visual Discrimination

Visual Closure

Visual Figure Ground

VisualForm Constancy

Visual Memory

Visual Sequential Memory

Visual Spatial Relationships

The "problem" with this book at my house is that Li'l Bit needs help with it (a guided participation and/or FIE/mediated learning experience type help) yet she prefers to try the pages without my help, so she takes the book and sneaks off with it to try on her own. She got quite a few pages correct; but I found some errors in the work she did on her own. The fact that she enjoys trying to do the pages on her own is a positive thing. The negative is that I keep having to track it down! I was able to sit down with her and scaffold the process of what she missed and how to get to the correct answer. I want to give her the tools to get to the correct answer, the process, instead of giving her the answer. There's quite a bit of thinking involved, step-by-step strategies, within the different skills, despite the fact that this is a workbook about visual perception. Visual Perceptual Skill Building is a solid resource for the younger (or developmentally delayed) child who needs to join a guide/teacher. Having my daughter show me how she obtained her answer is one strategy we use. Walking my daughter through the process is another.

Here's another one she did without me.
We have an opportunity for another learning experience, because this one is incorrect. I'm not concerned that she got it wrong, because the error gives me a new opportunity.

I continue to be impressed with both Timberdoodle and Critical Thinking Company. This workbook is a big help for our needs and I recommend it to others who desire to work on strengthening areas of visual perception.

As a member of Timberdoodle's Blogger Review Team I received a free copy of this book in exchange for a frank and unbiased review.

Knot So Fast

When Timberdoodle contacted me about reviewing Knot So Fast, I was intrigued. A game of knot making??? The autism-therapy-mom in me became excited with the possibiities.

A game like this one could be the background activity for a list of developmental and relationship objectives, for speech and communication, for fine motor work, for motor planning, for plain 'ol fun.

Priced at $17.25 (retail $20.00) on the Timberdoodle web site, Knot So Fast is a game for one to four players ages eight and up. It's meant to be a family game, a race, with the objective to see who can tie knots in the soft game ropes faster than the other players by following steps on one of the 40 challenges pictured on cards that are a part of the game.

Like many families with a child on the autism spectrum, and like many homeschoolers, we tend to change the rules and make games our own, and this is no exception. We have used it a little bit outside of the rules and I have plans to continue to use it in more ways outside of the game rules.
When the game arrived, I was experiencing a horrible upper respiratory virus that sent me into coughing fits when I exerted myself. Talking, walking across the room, being upright prompted choking coughs, and I watched the kids play with the game from a prone position on the couch.

My eldest was really intrigued by the game, and her interest showed me more uses for the game. Eldest played alone, competing with herself, challenging herself to study the cards and create the knots.

By comparison, my homeschooler, my learner with special needs, resisted the whole thing, choosing to turn several ropes into one big mess. (FYI: The mess she made was easy to untangle. I like the texture of the ropes. They shape easily and unknot just as easily.) I know where she is, developmentally, and I am able to choose some simple knots to show her as a confidence builder. It was interesting to me to compare the two reactions; one child dove into the challenge head first; one resisted.

I can work with resistance, and Knot So Fast will give the two of us some opportunities to conquer some of it with the game as background activity.

One of our developmental objectives has been to give our girl opportunities to copy our meaningful actions, where she is responsible for focusing her attention on the right things to create a positive outcome - showing her how to tie a knot is one way to do that. She gets developmental practice and learns to tie different knots at the same time.

Eventually, I will have HER show ME, tell me how to tie a knot, and we'll write the steps down together. We'll get some speech practice with the game. She's not ready for that, yet, but she will be one of these days.

One of the other things that my eldest brought to my attention was the educational value of the game. She kept asking, "Why would anyone need to learn to make this kind of knot?" Each challenge card offers a brief explanation about what that particular knot is used for, and I can imagine our making a little unit study about knots using this game in our homeschool.

I wonder if one person could direct another person, blindfolded, to tie a knot, using nothing but spoken directions? Hmmmm.

In addition to being a family game, I think that Knot So Fast would be a workbox activity (one new knot with one rope in a box); a great travel game (I'd leave the little hourglass timer at home). Speech therapists, occupational therapists, professionals who work with students on the autism spectrum would have fun with clients while working on therapy goals within the context of a game. Knot So Fast could be a neat gift for your favorite OT or autism therapist.

We enjoy looking through the catalog that came in the mail; there are lots of unique toys at Timberdoodle.

Visit Timberdoodle for your homeschooling needs, for single player games (great for workboxes); and for family and educational games. Free catalogs for homeschoolers are available here. Timberdoodle has a facebook page, too.

Legal Disclosure:

As a member of Timberdoodle's Blogger Review Team I received a free copy of Knot So Fast in exchange for a frank and unbiased review.