Thursday, February 10, 2011

Interruptions--- their insulting effect on relationships

More wisdom from Dr. Jim (Dr James D MacDonald) from Communicating Partners. I wonder if Dr Jim is referring to Anderson Cooper's interview of Dr Wakefield a few weeks ago?
Interruptions--- their insulting effect on relationships
by Dr James D MacDonald

I recently saw an interview with a high level personality and the interviewer interrupted the man 42 times in 15 minutes. That is 3 times a minute.

How would you feel if that happened to you?

I watch many children try to communicate and I see adults often interrupt them, giving them what to say, over talking, ore in some way not letting the child have his say.

Imagine what that does to a child--I find it does the following:

1. Actually tells him what the has to say is not important

2. Tells him the adult is not listening to him.

3. Tell him he is wrong.

4. Deprives him of a chance to practice what he can do.

5. Discourages him to not bother talking.

6 .Make him irritated.

7. Drives him away from the adult.

8. Makes him think he should say what others want not what he feels.

9. Teaches him to interrupt1

10. Violates the basic communication rule of

Personally, I had a relationship with a person helping me in my work. She was bright, fast, and energetic. But she frequently interrupted me and interpreted what I was saying wrong. She was so into controlling and being right that she ran over me like a locomotive. Her interruptions and failure to listen to what I really was saying, to make it simple, drove me nuts. I had to let her go even though it made me work a lot more.

Please protect your child from people who interrupt your child or control him so that he cannot be spontaneous.

A good way to encourage people to not interrupt is to urge them to let the child finish their talk or turn in interaction, then wait a little in case a little the child has more to do or say.

This also applies to your child; he or she needs to learn not to interrupt others. A simple way to encourage this is to put up your hand silently to him and continue your turn. Children often do this when we are on the pone; they need to learn that they cannot succeed. Learning to wait for when you are free is an important thing them to learn so to be accepted in society.


Adelaide Dupont said...

Thank you for reprinting this article and pointing out the insulting effect interruptions have on relationships.

Indeed, they prevent or curtail a relationship developing at all sometimes.

Keeping a relationship going despite interruptions is for me a big achievement!

Karen said...

I think your suspicion re: Anderson Cooper/Dr. Wakefield is correct. That was SO frustrating to have to listen to--I hate when interviewers do that. The audience never gets the privilege of hearing the answer.
It is also a good reminder for me to WAIT a bit longer with the kids with whom I work/play. Sometimes, when they are verbal, it is easy to interrupt them because you 'think' you know what they are going to say. I'm good at waiting for my pre-verbal kids, but not so much for my verbal ones. Just because they can talk, doesn't mean they can process as fast.

Writer said...

Thank you for posting this article. This is a good reminder for me too, to be patient with everyone and not finish their sentences, because I do have a tendency to do that.
I am from the TOS Crew and am now following you. I'm looking forward to reading more posts. Thank you!

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