Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Adjusting

Our move is complete. The unpacking is not. We are slowly settling in.

I am getting a taste of the effects of uncertainty on my ability to process information and self-regulate. Autism 101. Change is difficult, challenging. I do not like change. And I'm NT. I am more like my child who is on the autism spectrum than I realize; and she is more like me.

All the web chats and presentations I've heard about the concept of "productive uncertainty" by Dr Gutstein and Dr Sheely of RDI(r) are coming to life for me.

My girl is doing better than I. She has been navigating change like a pro in recent weeks, handling the move in a positive way. Thank you, RDI(r).

The many differences between there and here have me in a tizzy.

I am accustomed to hunting and gathering to piece together foods for my daughter who has numerous food intolerances and allergies. I did not anticipate the difference in how stores here and there cater to (or do not cater to) customers who shop gluten free and more.

The lack of resources for all things gluten-free, dairy-free, soy-free, nut-free, sunflower and pineapple free is sending me backwards 10 years to the time when we began the GFCF diet. In so many ways, I feel like we're starting the diet all over again. I feel the sense of overwhelm that I felt then. I feel discouraged. Ingredients and convenience items I have come to depend on are not readily available here. Who knew there had many, many more grocery stores who actively catered to their GF and allergen free customers? And who knew that the Costco here would not carry the same convenience food items I relied upon there? I thought about throwing myself onto the concrete floor at Costco and having myself a meltdown when I realized that two of the staples I counted on were not available here.

(I have had a few surprises. When I finally found Snyders of Hanover gluten-free pretzels, I found them at, of all places, Wal-Mart, and for an astonishing $2.50/package. Publix, a grocery store brand new to me, carries Udi's GF bread in the freezer section and prices it much less than any other store - the problem for me is that Publix doesn't have enough other stuff to make it worthwhile for me to go there just for that bread.)

I'm getting a window into navigating change and in some ways, to the anxiety my daughter experiences. I have always said that if Temple Grandin could get down on her hands and knees and take the perspective of a cow and smooth the path for cattle, I could learn to understand the perspective of my daughter in order to help smooth the path for her. In the long run, the experience of navigating change and uncertainty will help me help her and others. For the short term, I mostly want to complain, cry, and scream. ;)

1 comment:

walking said...

I feel your pain. We get buy with the Walmart 40 minutes away and drive the 1.5 hour round trip marathon shopping every two months or so. Fun. :-/

Then I remind myself of 1995 when we started the diet. There was NOTHING. I had to make everything from scratch.

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