Mom & Dad's Bluebirds

The kids and I spent last weekend at my Mom and Dad's house. The bluebirds have a surprise:

Progress in Mindfulness and Self-Regulation

Our new state requires school physicals for school enrollment. I took my government-schooled kids for their physicals very early this morning.

I had to wake the kids, and my homeschooler (the child with an autism spectrum disorder diagnosis) woke very snotty and with no appetite.

Great. (sarcasm)

That's a recipe for dysregulation. For acting out, being loud, screechy, protesting, unable to manage herself in unfamiliar/new situations.

As we headed to the doctor's office, she asked what would happen. We told her she was not getting a physical this morning. She whined, almost screeching, that she did not want to go.

I told her that none of us wanted to go.

And that she needed to get control of herself. Twin brother told her he didn't want to be embarrassed by her. Great. (sarcasm) Telling her she can be embarrassing can increase her anxiety and make her behavior worse.

I suggested she figure out how she was going to wait through the short appointments.

And she began to talk to herself about sitting quietly and waiting.

In the waiting area of the doctor's office, she gave us one small outburst. And then she pulled herself together, hunger, snotty, runny nose and all.

She's growing more competent in mindfulness and self-regulation. Sometimes, I see miracles as I watch her make discoveries. Yes, we have a way to go. Yet, she has come so far.

I am so grateful for RDI(r).

Laura Geller ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!

I used to be "high maintenance" where hair and make-up were concerned. Three children and one regression into autism later, and "high maintenance" flew out the window. So did make-up.

Six-ish years ago, I saw Laura Geller presenting her Balance and Brighten product on QVC. I liked the description of it, although I was skeptical. It's a powder that's really a liquid, if that makes any sense. I have really dry skin. I can't do powders. They dry me out too much. And I hate liquid makeup. Too messy. Laura Geller was applying the Balance and Brighten foundation to models faces with a brush. Knowing I could return it if I didn't like it, I ordered it.

LOVE it. It is the fastest foundation I have ever used. I honestly don't know if it's the Balance and Brighten itself or if it is the combination of Spackle + Balance and Brighten, but I quit having days where my make-up would sometimes streak.

At Vacation Bible School two weeks ago, someone complimented my complexion. My complexion was enhanced with my Balance and Brighten.

Not only am I impressed with the product, I'm impressed when I receive a product with a glitch.

Bottom line for this blog post: Laura Geller customer service is *stellar*! Laura Geller customer service, thank you for taking such good care of me.

Milk-Allergic Kids: Reactions to Tdap Vaccine Lots

So *many* families report watching children change following a vaccine. And the world tells those families, "you didn't see what you think you saw," and "no relationship".

Bull hockey. Look at the children. And look at the vaccine lots. Is there a relationship? Please. Let's find out.

Why can someone look at a reaction in milk-allergic kids and not kids who regress into autism (and severe sudden onset bowel disease)?

Check out the article about reactions to the Tdap in milk-allergic children HERE.

Unbelievable - Chrysler - Second Chance?

The oil pan gasket is leaking in my vehicle AGAIN. Twice in a new automobile in less than a year. Chrysler disappointed me with the whole repair thing last August. Will the company redeem itself for me this time?

Answering Questions About The Birds and The Bees (Help Wanted)

'Rella is asking questions. She's seen several TV births lately (Anna Duggar's baby boy; Pebbles and Bam Bam's twins in an animated movie; a mammoth born in another animated movie). The other day, she saw a dog that was clearly a cross between two breeds, and she asked me how you get half a dog like that.

There is a time when children develop a filter about what to talk about outside the home and what NOT to talk about, what are private conversations that each mom and dad prefer to have with their own children. 'Rella's still working on that filter.

I am caught between her level of development and the level of her questions.

And I know that more questions are on the way. In the Pebbles and Bam Bam movie, Pebbles and Bam Bam are a young married couple expecting a baby, and they comment about the child that they made. 'Rella told me that they are wrong, that GOD made that baby, "right mom?". Um, sort of, 'Rella.

Wrapping my mind around what is appropriate for her developmental level while still answering her questions is stretching me this morning.

How have you dealt with this issue and your child with developmental delays? I'd love to draw from your experience.

One friend suggested this series. I'm looking into it, now.

Reflections on visiting a church in our new hometown

We have experienced an incredible week visiting a new-to-us church near our new-to-us town, first, at Sunday School, Sunday, and then at Vacation Bible School, Tuesday through Friday. (I chickened out, Monday.)

No setting is perfect. I know that. I went into visiting not expecting perfection. I do want others to help my girl become an active participant when she's at church, to look for ways for her to be successful, and to think outside the box.

The focus of Tuesday's VBS was about showing Jesus's love to others, which is about perspective taking. This church certainly does that in a big way.

I have to, want to share as many specifics as I can, in hopes that they help another church family or family of a child with special needs.

PREPARATION

* The children's pastor spent some time with me on the phone. I felt "heard" and I knew that we would not be a surprise (good or bad) when we showed up on Sunday.

* I spent time with one of the SS teachers on the phone, and spotlighted some "'Rella-isms", was able to ask about snack (there is NONE) and I requested that they write a schedule for her so she could have a "bulletin" for her SS class. They had a schedule written out for her when she arrived. ;)

*I was offered an opportunity to talk to the children before we brought 'Rella to SS. Or the teachers offered to talk to the children. (If I could put my hands on "Jessica's Little Sister", I'd use that, but it is packed in a box somewhere in my house at the moment.)

Amy Fenton Lee has written about visiting a new church with a child w/ special needs here.

A POSSE

* Two moms of young men who are on the autism spectrum volunteered to be my girl's buddy at VBS; they switched off, with one of them with my girl at all times. One of them has given up her own SS class to attend SS both times we visited with my girl. If we stay at this church, I will join the rotation of helpers for other children who need support."

*I have the cell phone numbers of key people in the building. Consider giving key cell phone numbers to the parents. The morning that 'Rella was dysregulated and upset, I was able to text one of the helpers angels from the car, and get help getting 'Rella into the building. Miss Kay came with the total expectation that 'Rella would indeed go inside to her class and have a good time, with a "Hey, your class is looking forward to having you there today!" attitude that pulled my girl right inside to join her class.

FLEXIBILITY

The staff heard my concerns about a same-age class. My girl is not ready to be with 6th graders in class. Both the expectations and material would be outside of her developmental stage. They asked what grade I'd feel comfortable with. I think that she's somewhere in the K-2 grade range, but I asked about 3rd grade, and was told that 3rd grade is a great bunch of kids.

The children's pastor also told me that children's church on Sundays during second service only is for kids through 3rd grade, but they don't stick to that if there are kids who are older but need that opportunity. He welcomed my letting her try the children's church and said we'd find someone to buddy with her there, too.

Children with special needs are allowed to come and go as they feel competent. Children are not expected to follow the exact VBS plan. Having enough volunteers that one could leave with a child who is overwhelmed and a quiet room to go to played a big role in the success of the week for more than just my child.

FOOD

* This church has eliminated snack from Sunday School. All my special diet concerns were *POOF* gone in that single sentence.

* Additionally, they have no cooking center in Sunday School. (Our last church not only would not consider eliminating snack, and knowing that one child would be left out, they also purchased a SS curriculum that included a cooking center where they often made items with wheat flour.)

* They ignored the cutesie and elaborate themed snacks that LifeWay suggests with their creative and engaging VBS curriculum. They offered the kids easy to prepare and set up snacks, and some were (amazingly) okay for my girl to eat. Cookies. Frozen juice pops. A trail mix made from potato sticks, pretzels, marshmallows, many items I could duplicate with not a lot of trouble. (Hallelujah! Our last church insisted on those snacks, and neither the church family NOR LifeWay understands what crafty snacks can and canNOT be duplicated allergen free. There were often snacks I could not duplicate. And trying to duplicate them created a lot of work and expense for me.)

GRACE

*No pew ladies. Or pew children.

* The children in my daughter's class accepted her as she is. Taller, older, and sometimes talking to herself a lot. This church has several other families with kids w/ special needs. Children who are different are not out-of-the ordinary here. One of the biggest problems in our past at church were the other children. I have a child who can be loud while talking to herself when she is anxious. Hearing a judgmental "shhhhhh!" and "Use an INDOOR voice" from a peer sends her anxiety soaring higher. The day at VBS that my 'Rella was "off" and talking to herself a little, the other kids did not say anything to her about it. That grace is a huge gift to her, allowing her a space to be safe to self-regulate and self-calm.

*One little girl made the cutest picture for my 'Rella and presented it to her early one morning. (Not an inclusion idea, yet I had to include the moment here because it is so special.)

BACK-UP PLANS

*I think the ability to have the space (and flexibility) for creating and implementing back-up plans is one of the most important pieces of creating a venue for success. My daughter knows she can draw away for the parts of the day that are painful for her and join everywhere else.

*During the very loud and busy opening worship rally at VBS, my girl was allowed to watch from a room outside the sanctuary where the sound could be controlled via a speaker. She was not expected to follow the "rules".

*During the music center of VBS, my girl was allowed to go with a helper angel to a quiet room to draw or paint.

*The church has sensory toys available, from squishy balls for squeezing to Lego for building with during a story. There is a rocking chair available, as well.

*When I told the staff I'd send my child's favorite mints for oral motor and proprioceptive input to use if needed, the VBS teacher bought those mints for the whole class, so my child wouldn't look or feel different. (WOW. This one touches me so deeply; I blink back tears thinking about it. If you have ever had a church member tell you that your child has to learn sometime that she can't eat what everyone else eats, you'll understand this one.)

*I did not think of this one until the week was almost over. A cup of ice water with a straw can be a tool to have available for oral-motor and proprioceptive input. There are so many acrylic cups with lids and straws on the market now, the church could consider having a few available in the building. I brought one. One day, I filled it and my girl sipped it on the way to VBS; one day, I grabbed it as we were walking out the door and we got ice and water at church. I also offered the idea of heading to the kitchen for more ice and water if my girl needed a break. (Note to self: I need to take some packages of crazy straws to leave at church in the sensory "kit".)

*My child is one who was quizzed so much during our behavioral intervention days that a single wh- question about her SS or VBS lesson will send her toward fight-or-flight, and she becomes unable to answer any questions. (We are still beginning to work on narration at home, not on wh- questions about material we've covered.) For children with auditory processing challenges or whose anxiety rises with questions, have some lesson-related activities ready, particularly in the quiet room. I offered to create some word searches or matching activities for my girl. abcteach is made for that.

ACTIVE PARTICIPATION

*Active participation is a topic that is a blog post in itself. As I process in my mind the concept of active participation in a ministry setting, I will probably blog more about this topic.

*The sensory toys and fidgets, the quiet room, the helpers angels are in place not to entertain or babysit, but are used in ways that allow the children to be active participants. Some children need to do something with their hands in order to listen to a story. Some children need to avoid the music center because it is too loud and too dynamic, yet they are successful in the other centers.

*When 'Rella arrived at church for VBS, Thursday morning dysregulated (upset with me for making her miss a tv show for Bible School), I was concerned about 'Rella's ability to self-calm. Would she "flare up"? Or would she calm? I didn't know. Her helpers angels knew where I was volunteering in the building, and early Thursday, Miss Sherri gave me an update. She told me that 'Rella was having a rough morning, talking to herself (scripting), and that her 3rd grade teacher, Miss Catherine, kept giving her things to do to keep her engaged while ignoring the scripting. And the kids were ignoring the scripting, too. The reactions of the staff and peers are brilliant at so many levels. Self-regulation, like all functions in development, begins physically, in 'manipulative mode'. Giving my girl things to do gave her a physical kind of regulation that allowed the emotional regulation a place to happen. Spotlighting the scripting for the class would have increased my child's dysregulation and created negative memories for her. Ignoring the scripting is a gift that allowed more space for self-regulation and self-calming. She felt competent in the action of self-regulation, something that can take some children longer than others.

*Giving everyone an active role is important and I saw that happening. I am not sure whether active participation was deliberate or simply instinctive, but it is in the forefront of planning with individuals with special needs in mind. Finding roles for each individual is critical.

*VBS classes were available for children up to 6th grade. Teens were allowed to volunteer. My eldest was the tallest pre-schooler in her class. She had a fun week helping the leaders of the pre-school class. One teenage volunteer that I got to know this week is a delightful young man with an Asperger's diagnosis as we counted the VBS offering together for four days. We stacked and rolled lots and lots of coins. And his mom (who happened to be one of my daughter's angels as well as an angel to all of the children who needed her that week) came by to ask him to leave the coin counting in order to go be with this child or that child, that he was needed to help with a puzzle. He was allowed opportunities to be an active participant at many levels and in multiple places. (Sidebar: I remember Barb Newman telling us about a church situation where a young man with a disability liked to touch women's breasts, a problem that was happening during fellowship time between services. Newman suggested giving him the job of filling coffee cups at fellowship time - problem solved.)

*They allowed me, a visitor, a total stranger, to participate. I would not leave the building, would not leave my girl. Period. I could have sat on a step in the stairwell the whole time, or in a chair in the hall, I suppose. I headed to the fellowship hall and the staff there gave me gloves and put me to work prepping snacks. Then, a woman from the kitchen brought out a basket of towels and aprons straight from the dryer. I helped fold them. And then I noticed that help was needed counting the buckets of money from the VBS offering. So, I became a floater. And they graciously allowed me to do that in positions that I could slip out of easily if I needed to, because I'm That Mom, the one who wants to be an active participant, yet sometimes is distracted by the special need.

*Our family visited this same church the Sunday that kicked-off VBS. My husband and I attended a Sunday School class with other adults. (Can you imagine?) The class we visited had a get-together planned for the next weekend, and we were included in that. As visitors. Strangers. Yes, an incredibly warm welcome! The guys at my house had a baseball tournament all weekend, so the girls went to the get-together (which included children). It was the first event like that we'd ever attended fully. We've gone to baseball picnics where I came late with 'Rella and left early with her, with someone one-on-one with her the entire time. We've gone to small group dinners where my kids were the only ones there (no one else has kids at home) and the event was short or at a house w/ a pool. I actually got to talk to adults and at times watch my girl outside from inside through a window. A first.

Inclusion is a church-wide project, and I saw so many wonderful ideas at work this week, too special to keep to myself. I hope they give you ideas for your house of worship. And if you have other ideas, please include them in the comments section.

Spectacular Spider Web

I saw the most spectacular spider web in a neighbor's yard yesterday morning. I still don't know if I was able to capture it with my camera. Take a peek. Do you see it?

Grace

We are visiting a church's Vacation Bible School. I chickened out, Monday. Then I found out that the woman teaching 'Rella's class had 'Rella's favorite mints for the whole class, because she knew that 'Rella likes them and that we use them sometimes for oral motor and proprioceptive input when 'Rella needs it when we're out and about.

Grace.

Tuesday morning, we showed up, bright-eyed-and-bushy-tailed. Big Sis was plugged into a preschool class to help there with a friend from her new school. Twin Brother went to a class for his age group. And the staff at this VBS allowed my 'Rella to attend a class that is three grades behind her actual grade.

Grace.

Tuesday and Wednesday were stellar days for 'Rella. This church family has put some really strong inclusion and accommodation pieces into place for kids like her

Grace.

(I will write about those inclusion and accommodation pieces in another blog post or ten. I'm still processing them.)

This morning, Miss 'Rella was off. Dysregulated. Several events played out to make it worse. By the time we arrived at the church building, she was still upset and dysregulated. Not to the point of a fight-or-flight flare-up, although if you have a child on the autism spectrum, you know that a child can slip down that slope quickly from a point of being upset and dysregulated.

In the parking lot, she refused to get out of the car. She told me to call a babysitter and take her home, that she would not go to Vacation Bible School today.

Thank goodness, I had the cell phone number of one of her helpers angels.

(Yes, there are more than one.)

I texted Miss Kay, who asked where we were in the parking lot. I relayed our location, and Miss Kay was right there.

Grace.

And my dysregulated little girl went willingly with Miss Kay.

I was just a little bit dysregulated at this point. I sortakinda wondered what would happen inside the building. I resisted the urge to go inside the building and try to peek at her. Instead, I went to the fellowship hall to find a place to volunteer again.

Miss Sherri came by the door of the room where I helped with both making snack and counting the offering today. Miss Sherri is another helper angel, like Miss Kay.

Miss Sherri said that my 'Rella was having a rough morning, that she was talking to herself a lot. (She recites lines from tv and movies when she's dysregulated.) She said that the teacher, Miss Katherine (yes, another angel), didn't blink, that she was giving 'Rella things to do, ways to participate, and ignoring the scripting.

Grace.

Miss Sherri continued. (Kleenex alert.) She said that the kids in the class were fine with it all.

Sidebar: Children have sometimes been our biggest problem in a church setting. They have shushed my girl, implied that she is being "bad", admonished her in a condescending tone to use an indoor voice, moved away from her when she sat down by them, you name it, a lot of negative stuff has happened at church. And I think that she feels embarrassed. Embarrassed that she is dysregulated, that she needs some time (and grace) to settle herself down. And those negative feelings are the overwhelming sensation that override everything else God-related.

I explained that to Miss Sherri. She said the kids did not seem to be bothered by my 'Rella's dysregulation at all.

GRACE.

By the time VBS adjourned for the day, my 'Rella was almost back to the competent, confident, regulated child from the past two days. Her support staff said she finished strong today, despite the shaky start.

I know from past experience that a day begun in dysregulation and upset could have gone either way.

A little grace makes an enormous difference.

Southernisms

Li'l Bit (aka "Rella") accompanied me to the warehouse club tonight. She purchased a video game, the kind where you take a card to the cashier, pay for the game, and then take your receipt to customer service to pick up the actual game.

One of the differences between the South and the Midwest is that in the South, strangers banter and cut up with you more. I haven't been around that type of banter in more than 20 years, and my children have never been around it.

I sent Li'l Bit to customer service ahead of me to pick up her game and I stayed back to give her an opportunity to step up and handle the interaction without me. (I was a bit dismayed to see the customer service employee give two co-workers more attention than my daughter as she took the receipt from her and went to find the game.)

The game is a sing-along game, and when the customer service employee saw the title, with a big, friendly smile and a bit of a laugh, she asked Li'l Bit if she could come to her house and play it with her.

Li'l Bit is very literal. Being literal is common in autism. That poor customer service lady had no idea how my girl was interpreting the banter.

No problem.

Here's where it got exciting:

Li'l Bit gave me a look, eyebrows up, with a question in her face, that, to me, said, "how do I answer that question?" and I grinned and told the woman, "ABSOLUTELY!"

(DO.YOU.KNOW.HOW.ABSOLUTELY.POSITIVELY.HUGE.THAT.KIND.OF.REFERENCING.IS?!?!?!?!)
Turns out, there was more to come. At this store, you must show your receipt to an employee at the exit, while that employee checks the receipt against the items in your cart. He noticed the sing-along game, too, and had to pick on my girl a little bit. She didn't know what to think or how to respond to it. I answered him for her, she nodded along with what I said.

This will be a fun development to watch.

FAMILY MOVIE NIGHT: Field of Vision airs on NBC, Saturday, Jun 11th

I got an opportunity to preview the made-for-TV movie, Field of Vision, this week. In the early morning hours before the children were awake, I clicked through to the online link, submitted my blog info, and enjoyed an entertaining family movie in the quiet.

Field of Vision airs at 8 pm (7 central) on NBC, Saturday, June 11th.

Field of Vision hit close to home for me. The story involves a young man who moves to a new school in the middle of a school year. My kids will relate to that. The teen in the movie has been bounced from house to house in the foster system, and in the story is the victim of bullying by some players on the football team.

My son's experienced some bullying here. And back there, too. Teasing. Feels mean to him. He'll understand.

The hero of the story is the captain of the football team, who is challenged to do the right thing, right as his senior year of football is closing in on state finals. He's not involved in the bullying. When he finds out who committed the assault (via an old, fickle video camera that works in mysterious ways), will he do the right thing and turn in his teammates?

I enjoyed the film. I identified with most of the characters in the story. I think all of us have been in a place to step up and stand up for a victim of teasing or bullying - this movie certainly provides a place for that conversation to happen with your children. What would you do in that situation?

Faith Ford stars as the mom in the movie. She's a favorite of mine.

Links for more info (note that Dove gives it a "family approved" rating, "suitable for all ages"):

Website: http://www.familymovienight.com/field-of-vision/
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/familymovienight
Mom's for Family TV: http://www.moms4familytv.com/
Dove Foundation Review: http://www.dove.org/reviewpopup.asp?Unique_ID=883

"Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned above for free in the hope that I would mention it on my blog. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."

What does "acclimate" mean?

QUESTION:

If you were offered services to help your family with a child with special needs (oh, like, autism, for example) "acclimate" in a new location with a job transfer, what would you think that would mean? And what type of professional might provide that service, in your opinion?

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines "acclimate" this way: to adapt to a new temperature, altitude, climate, environment, or situation

Reflections on Exhilaration

Li'l Bit's interest in playing with a group of kids at the ball park last night is new. (Post w/ photos here.)

She needs lots and lots and lots of those little successful (competent) moments like that. She needs practice.

We've given her practice with all the foundations she needs to be competent in interactions like the ones that happened last night, that are largely nonverbal.

By giving her experience and practice - without directions or prompts - by using ourselves differently, by using ourselves in ways that allow her to be an active participant with us, by slowing down, using fewer words and less "talk", and allowing her time to process and to move her body into positions to coordinate with ours, to allow her the time she needs to feel herself taking an action, to turn her own head, to shift her own gaze, to reach, to move into place, etc etc etc, she was able to very naturally position herself for that "volleyball" game and for the "hot potato" type game they played next.

No, she's not ready for 30-40 pre-teens at the community pool (I was quite down that night ) but she did great in a quiet setting at the ballpark w/ up to 7 or 8 other kids.

Little glimpses of progress keep me going. I pray for more opportunities for her to practice competence and grow.

PS: Now may be the time I need to locate "The Games Bible" and find some ideas. I bought the games book at a bookstore when it was closing and got a good deal on it. Of course, it is in a box, somewhere, a victim of our recent move.

ex·hil·a·ra·tion

At her twin brother's game tonight...

Li'l Bit saw the players' sibs playing together and asked me,
"Mom, how do I go talk to the girls?"
and I said,
"Let's go."

She played volleyball with them.

And a "hot-potato" type game that I did not quite understand.

Temps were hot.
When Li'l Bit felt a bit overwhelmed as the kids moved on to a third game, she returned to me, saying, "Mom, I really had fun playing!" And she made up a song about how she loves making new friends at the ballpark.

Exhilaration.
For her.
And for me, too.

Not for the guys, though.
They were losing the game when we left it. :(

Reflections on this night are HERE.

fully engaged

"fully engaged, how to DO less and BE more" by John Busacker is book with a reminder to slow down and to be intentionally and, well, fully engaged.

I really thought this book would be an encouraging book about one man's story and that's it. It's not. The author provides incredible how-to within the pages.

If you, like me, want to look at yourself with a critical eye in order to make positive changes, fully engaged is both an encouragement and a teacher as Busacker guides the reader through a journey of recognizing first who you are and then who you want to be and advice about how one gets from one place to the other.

The small (slightly bigger than my hand), 164-page hardback takes the reader through steps of awareness, alignment, and action toward making our lives more intentional and helping us be engaged fully.

The chapter that speaks very loudly to me at the moment is under the "action" section, called "Celebrate Your Setbacks, Your engagement is fueled by failure". I feel myself failing at managing all the changes of a cross-country move as, at the same time, I look back at things I wish I'd done or wish I'd done better in the 15 years we were in that other place. Busacker's got me doing a little work, that's for sure.

I think that fully engaged would be a great gift for high school or college graduation and is one that would be (in my opinion) a great book to slip into your carry-on to read and work through on an airplane. It's small enough to fit in a purse or briefcase for time in waiting rooms, too.

fully engaged is for people who are ready to take a hard look at themselves in order to do the work to make positive changes. For me, I'm not sure which is more challenging, taking the honest look at self, or taking the risks I need to take for change and growth.

Do Less and Be More web site is here.

The B&B Media group sent me fully engaged for review purposes. I was given no financial compensation for this review and am not obligated to provide a positive review.

Reality Check

Sunday morning is here again. I am avoiding church. Why? Because we are in a new town in a new state and I will have to begin visiting congregations to look for a good fit for us and autism and anxiety. I am a wimp. Not ready to take those risks. Of course, my fear of risk taking with church people has a big negative. I'm cutting myself off from people, adults. I'm so tired of being alone, of having no adults to interact with, except "is plastic okay?" from the cashier at the grocery store who wants to know what type of bags I prefer.

Last night, my girl and I went to the community swimming pool. I was quite anxious. I don't want anyone bullying my child, making fun of her. Watching others mistreat her tears my heart and emotions in two. The pain is almost unbearable. Maybe that's why approaching new churches is so hard. The hurt for me is (unbelievably) even greater there when children move away from her to sit somewhere else.

After about a half-hour of quiet at the pool with just a few people who ignored the two of us, a herd of tweens arrived, 30-40 of them. Thank goodness they were too self-absorbed with themselves to notice my girl. My anxiety diminished somewhat, but my emotions stayed high as I experienced feeling left out, experienced the gap between where my daughter is and where her typically developing peers are. Reality check. What a smack in the face. I wasn't ready to go down that road last night.

Gluten Free Savings Resource

I'm probably the last one to know about this. In case I am not, I'll share the info with you.

Gluten-Free Deals offers savings on gluten-free foods. Subscribe to get e-mails with info on the sales or find their facebook page.

http://dealcoop.com/glutenfreedeals/a/glutenfreedeals

I have not ordered anything from Gluten-Free Deals yet (I just learned about them today).

The Process of Shaping

Charlotte Mason's teaching and philosophy about education is a strong influence on many homeschoolers today. The more I learn (thanks, in a big part to Tammy Glaser) the more I see Mason's words lining up with what I know about development and about autism remediation from a developmental approach.

From Simply Charlotte Mason dot com, an article on the process of shaping, "I am, I can, I ought, I will":

go HERE