Friday, January 22, 2010

Consequences of Adults Talking Too Much by Dr James MacDonald

Wish I had met Dr Jim much earlier in my daughter's journey.




PARTNER TALKS SO MUCH THE CHILD GETS TOO LITTLE PRACTICE.

Why is this a problem?:
Not enough practice for a conversation habit.
Learns to be passive.
Learns to talk only about others ideas.
Fails to learn turn-taking.
Believes his ideas are not important.
Partner usually gives talking models that are too complicated.
Conversation are short lived when one person runs the show.
CONVERSATION LEADS TO A SOCIAL LIFE MORE THAN LANGUAGE ITSELF.

What can you do to help?

THINK OF CONVERSATION AS A GIVE AND TAKE, A PING-PONG
GAME NOT A LECTURE OR A TEST.
Wait silently for partner to have his turn.
Clearly expect and anticipate him to participate.
Allow his turn at times to be physical and nonverbal.
Accept and respond to a turn even if it is unclear.
Let person know that you want the conversation to continue.
Remind your self that he will learn more when you do only half.
Your child learns language best in conversations.
Make conversation out of physical interactions.

EXAMPLE:
LESS LIKE THIS

MOM: Your birthday’s coming. What do you think you will get? I bet Grandma will get you clothes again. Who will get you toys? What toys do you want?
Child: Computer games. The ones that...
M: Interrupting. Oh not more of those. you just hide way and get stuck on those.
C: You can play with me on the computer.
M: Oh you know I am always busy. And I don’t understand what you see in them.
C: You could learn.
M: Oh I have too much to do.


EXAMPLE
MORE LIKE THIS:

MOM: Birthday’s coming. Waits looking at child.
Child: I want a train cake. With an engine and a caboose.
M: Any tender cars?
C: Yes one for pigs and horses.
M: They might fight together.
C: Okay, lets have two tender cars.



CONVERSATIONS DEVELOP BEST WHEN BOTH PARTNERS PARTICIPATE AS MUCH AS THE OTHER.
THE CHILD LEARNS MORE LANGUAGE TOO.
James D.MacDonald

From the yahoo group "communicating", a list comprised of parents and professionals who are currently utilizing or are interested in helping children with various learning disAbilities learn to communicate effectively by using the methods of Dr. James D. MacDonald of "Communicating Partners." Dr Jim generously allows members to share his tips and advice with others. Thank you, Dr Jim!

1 comment:

The Glasers said...

I love the visual effect of writing out the conversation!!!!! Thanks for posting it on behalf of Dr. Jim!

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