Friday, August 12, 2011


I am tired, tired of having to think so much, tired of not being able to put my brain / mind on "automatic".

I have to think and concentrate multiple times every day about information that should be automatic, and it is not automatic because we are so new here. Getting around town requires thinking and concentration. Remembering what each grocery store carries in terms of GFCF food takes a lot of mental space and time- none of it is automatic yet.

Getting info from the "I have to concentrate on it to remember it and apply it" part of my brain to the "automatic" part of my brain takes me many experiences over time. The process is sometimes exhausting and feels defeating.

I celebrate little victories when I do instinctively accomplish something now that wasn't automatic three months ago when the move was newer.

I want my girl to grow and develop in a way that things that are automatic for us are automatic for her. I don't want her having to remember a bunch of social skills rules to consciously think about to apply. I want to give her opportunities to experience what we experience and feel them from the inside out. I don't want her memorizing routines. I want her to be able to get herself dressed and ready, to warm up food, to make a meal, to do laundry etc without memorizing a task list every time.

It's another important reminder about how I want to approach autism intervention -- and WHY.

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