Tuesday, February 9, 2010


I am grumpy. Grumpier than normal, anyway. *grin*

Lots of little things are adding up.

If it were a mathematical equation, it would look like this:

Little things + little things + little things = frustration. And grumpiness.

Is anyone listening? Reading my thoughts? This is one of those times where I feel alone. I need to hear from the "Amen" corner. Or the folks who have a different perspective. I just need to connect.

Snow, winter, cold temperatures are not on my list of favorites. We live in a part of the country that typically gets quite a bit of snow. The last day of January, we were 30" below normal in terms of snowfall. Until the last couple of hours, I've been able to see the grass in a big chunk of my back yard for weeks. Our streets have been clear of snow.

Snow has been softly falling today and forecasts estimate we'll get somewhere between six-to-ten inches of the white stuff. :(

I'm frustrated with the state of services for children with developmental delays like autism. We travel long-distance for guidance from an RDI(r) Program Certified Consultant. We see them in person a few times a year. I love their office. Every adult in that building uses the same respectful, slowed-down way of interacting with my children, particularly the child on the autism spectrum. They allow her the time she needs to shift her body, orient herself to them, and answer their greetings. We know all of the staff, although we see just two of them professionally, and yet, they always take their time with us as we pass in the halls.

Today, my daughter had OT at one of our local clinics. She and her OT shared a therapy room with another OT and client.

Our OT instinctually slows down and gives needed processing time. The OT who was with the other client needs some help. She gave the boy instructions and if he did not respond immediately, she delivered the instructions again. She gave him no processing time AT ALL and prompted him through a lot of stuff he should have been doing on his how, feeding learned helplessness in areas of attention shifting and attention sharing. When he told her "goodbye", I heard her tell him to "tell my eyes!" Arg. He needs practice orienting his body to another person, gaze shifting, referencing, attention sharing -- that's not something that can be summed up in "look at me!" or "tell my eyes!", and it doesn't happen in an atmosphere where he isn't given time to do all those things as part of his processing.

I could feel my jaw tightening -- my tmj has been a problem lately (it's no wonder!) and I had trouble relaxing as I watched through the window in the observation room.

I am one of just a few in my county who "get" the developmental aspect and who want that.


I want to go home for a visit. Living 600+ miles from home, a day's drive away, from Dad and Mom, Sis's family, nieces and nephews, my grandmother, aunts, uncles, BILs and SILs stinks. Two of the kids and I were too sick to travel over Christmas break. We can't just pick another time to go, buzz in for the weekend, when we spend two days in the car, round trip. :( I need to see my mama and my daddy, to get a fix of real sweet tea, barbecue from my home town (made the correct way!), to hear folks say, "y'all" instead of "you guys".

I know. I know. It's time to STOP this Pity Party for Penny and begin to count my blessings. :) That's my next objective.


PaintCrazy said...

{{{Penny}}} It's been a weird Michigan winter for sure when Maryland has more snow than we do. And for sure we aren't the friendliest state for our special kids...but with people like you always advocating someday we will see some change!

Declare a snow day for your "homeschooler" and have fun tomorrow!

Corey and Bekah said...

I'm sorry, Penny. The snow continues to fall here, too, and I've been feeling pretty glum myself. After the snow our circumstances and reasons are a bit different, but I think I can relate to the emotion. I finally broke down and let all the complaints and discouragements ooze out of my mouth to my ladies' Bible study small group last week. This week has been a little better. Not the circumstances, but my outlook. At least I know I've been heard. I hope you'll feel better too after getting some of it out!

Dani G said...

Amen, sister! To all of it. I'm sighing along with you and sending virtual hugs to you. Thank goodness tomorrow is another day.

Nicole Beurkens said...

A good blog vent Penny! Now that you got that off your chest, you're next assignment is to do something relaxing/stress reducing for yourself...if nothing else just sit in silence and focus on not clenching that jaw so tight. Then you can move onto counting your blessings and whatever else you want to do after that. And remember...you get to come see us really soon :)

My name is Erin. said...

Don't we all have these moments. I'm so ready for Spring and I haven't seen my family in Montana for over 2 years. It's killing me, since we used to live in the same town. You are not alone in your frustrations.

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