Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Bittersweet

I never really thought I'd homeschool.

When I learned I was carrying twins, I daydreamed a lot of twin dreams. They'd start kindergarten together, first grade, middle school.

Today is the first day of school. My public schoolers, big sis, little brother, headed off to school. Today is a bittersweet day. I thought my twins would start middle school together, that I would have three walking to school together today. Autism shattered the twin daydreams.

And autism introduced me to homeschooling.

And while I'm grieving the lost dream, at the same time, I have a desire to bring the sibs home for school. I don't know how I'd do that, though, with all the autism stuff.

My homeschooler and I are ready to begin as soon as she's finished her breakfast.

Any way I look at it, today is sweet and bittersweet.

3 comments:

Daniel "Captain" Kirk said...

Ah, yes, bittersweet. We had always planned to home school, but autism took us by surprise, too. Still, home schooling has been the best choice until now. Now we're considering sending GL to PS next year, not because we think they can teach him anything, but because, since he turned 13, he knows everything, and nobody can teach him anything. We're keeping BB home, though. He's bright, but easily distracted. He needs one-on-one attention to stay focused.

GL has had several weeks of severe dysregulation, and I haven't had time to read blogs much. Things seem to be smoothing out, so I have more time to read about autism. Bittersweet...

Stranded said...

I relate to this sentiment, although I have just the one, but starting seems so overwhelming...I have decided to take it easy and ease in to homeschooling. There is no point making stern schedules and starting curriculums for a kid as dysregulated as my son. We need to be casual about learning or he's not having it.

BUt I wish, sometimes we were doing regular things. Bittersweet.

Lynn said...

I've been thinking a lot about all of the little fantasies that I've had for my ASD daughter that haven't come true. When she was diagnosed, they said that she'd be caught up by 1st grade. that seemed soooo far away at the time, but here we are and she's not nearly caught up. I have new dreams to replace the old ones and hopefully they are more realistic.

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