This commercial caught my eye.
In the first part of the commercial, watch how Lil not only breaks down the skill into little pieces, but watch how she waits for her student, Ellen Page, to reference her, to position her own spoons, before she moves forward.
The slowing down, adjusting our pacing, waiting for our daughter to orient not only her body, but first, her attention, to us, was something we missed in the early days. Behavioral intervention was all about the skill, and we missed allowing our child to join attention with us, orient herself. We missed the most important non-verbal interaction foundation piece.
“Ok first you have two spoons…put your finger in the middle of the spoons…and bang them back and forth.”
Okay, I know it's a commercial. Still, it reminds me how naturally we alter our pacing with someone who gives us that non-verbal feedback (even when we're not in the same house, when we're using technology), and how we can assume some children are not capable of giving that feedback, so we rush, rob them of the opportunity to shift attention and orient their gaze and body, instead of giving them the extra processing time they need to be active participants.