Friday, April 24, 2009

Responsibility to Grow at Your Own Pace

I have had the privilege and pleasure to know several adults who are on the autism spectrum for many years. They have been wonderful teachers to me. They continue to remind us parents to be mindful of how we speak about our children in front of them and to be mindful of any unintended but negative non-verbal messages we may be sending to them.

Here's another reminder, and this one comes from a professional, and the message applies to all of our relationships.



Today's entry is a guest post from Communicating Partner's Dr. James MacDonald. Thank you, Dr. MacDonald, for allowing me to use your words here on my blog, to share with other parents. You are a great teacher. The source: a post on the yahoo group, "communicating".


"The problem, a huge, I see on this topic is that when we show a child we want from him things he cannot do he becomes to think that

That can pervade all he does.

I constantly tell parents and professionals who will listen that each behavior you consider a mistake or error or delay is just a developmental step.

The problem is that if you respond to behaviors as 'wrong" then the child will stop, feel wrong and do less.

I just met as little girl who has been diagnosed with several things like PDD, ASD, dd, etc.

Thanks to her parents, she doesn't seem to know this or think differently about herself.

So when you call a child delayed or slow, be very careful. No child is delayed or slow except in comparison to same a ged children.

I know many very able le people who have learned others think they are delayed or wrong and then when they begin to think that of themselves, they try less and do less.

I am sure each of you know someone, hopefully not yourself, who has felt wrong or not just right, and then they do in life much less than they really could do.

I hope you learn that taking the attitude that "my child is who she is, period." and not act as thought there is something wrong with her.

If you want your child to do more, then join her world and show her how. Too often professionals are pushing our children to do things they are not developmentally ready for and then when the therapy or school fails, the child is blamed.

Everyone has a responsibility to grow at his own pace. COMPARISONS ARE HATEFUL, because you can never be someone else and if you try you will be unhappy and unsuccessful.

Dr. Jim"

1 comment:

Ann B. said...

A great post, Penny... thanks for sharing it. I've always thought that if you can get your child through elementary school with their self image positive and self esteem intact you will have won at least half the battle in getting them ready to learn. I've seen so many kids enter kindergarten believing they were smart, capapble, funny, talented and valued and by the middle of the year they are quiet and withdrawn, no longer as engaged in the process of learning as they were when school started. And it's been my belief based on nothing more than observation really, that this happens as they see one child colors better, one is better at math, etc. And the "object" of school seems to be to get everyone "up" to a certain level with little expression of the fact that we all develope our different talents in different ways and at different times. It's the one reason I really considered homeschooling through the first years. I didn't for a variety of reasons but often wish I had. Your children are lucky to have a mom who is putting so much thought into their rearing!

I really enjoy peeking into this part of your life. Hope you don't mind.

OnePlusYou Quizzes and Widgets

Created by OnePlusYou -

Stat Counter